I am going to preface this is section because it truly is a rabbit hole. I come from a very religious family and truly believe in God and Jesus Christ as my savior. It's in my name. We are his children, mortals, and we can barely understand what we can see in the physical world, nevermind the things that we can't see. I have had close friends die and at the right time, under the right circumstances, when I listen, I can tell when they're right next to me. I'm sure they're people out there with lost loved ones that can agree wholeheartedly.
That said, I am objective and analytical in my pursuit to understand things. I was in the top of my field, always a leader, and I rely on facts. And if proven facts are nowhere nearby I rely on statistics coupled with history to apply a probability to situations. There's a good example on the way I think and it goes like this - WW2 bombers are returning from theatre and all shot up and you are the armorer, where do you put the armor? The answer is that you put the armor where the planes ARENT shot up. This is because survivorship bias says that the planes that didn't return were shot in that area and didn't return, the returning ones had survived the other areas. Read between the lines if you will. Reasoning like this is how I've survived this long along with training and a little help from my friends.😉 On the other end of the spectrum there are things in this world that we just don't know and I accept that as a mortal. It's like trying to teach a dog math; how do you teach a dog math If he's can't even understand the concept to begin with? That is something alot of people and scientists aren't willing to accept unfortunately.
It all started with a girl. Love. I met her at Dunkin Donuts in Middleboro MA 2016. Let's call her E. After 30 years of existence I had never felt something that special right off the bat. I felt a connection outside this world -when you know, you know. It interrupted my world, my focus. After dancing around it for 6 months and literally feeling something in my heart that got stronger as she walked closer, I asked her if she had a boyfriend. To my dismay she replied she did have a boyfriend. Although dumbfounded, I wasn't going to be an upgrade or backup. I however did hand her my card and said, "Well when you dump him give me a call." A move I have come to regret. She went immediately from elated to despondent, and with a foot stomp (most likely the start of my problems) she took my card. That was it. Or so I thought.
If only I knew what trouble this would have caused me from the beginning, the harassment for over 7 years, finally cumulating into literal torture at the present and even as I write this. I would have never asked her out. The feelings that I had for her are long gone, lost in the hatred from her insidious, vile, no conscious, evil family. If she's still out there I hope someone shows her so she can see what her family did to me and let the F go. It's over, your family is actively killing me slowly and unbelievably painfully. I want nothing to do with you or criminals. You missed your shot.
I went back to the grind, the focus, with the spawn of the devil in the back of my mind. Stupidly hoping for a call, but as the days passed the improbability grew. I thought of her, of that feeling in the back of my mind. Was my heart wrong? I shot my shot to no avail. I tried to get over her but the feeling grew and I decided I needed closure. So I wrote. I wrote about a page and a half straight from my heart and posted it in a corner of the internet on Missed Connections on Craigslist. Missed Connections was a unseen page on the internet where, as the title implies, you would post a missed connection with another soul hoping for a reply -It has since turned into a smut advertiser but that's besides the point. I didn't receive the reply I was hoping for.
The reply I received was from her father the same day I posted. Mind you, this is a corner of the internet no one sees nor is supposed to see. I was being hunted. I got an email saying "Stay away from E or I'll smash you into the ground and leave you for the birds." Angry that I had poured my heart out into a story with no names on the anonymity of Craigslist, I replied "challenge accepted," this dude was looking for a problem. Words were exchanged and he took down his thought to be covert replies when he found out who I truly was. He subsequently posted a bunch of vague posts for the next 5 years alluding to the situation, trying to goad me, to no avail. Intuition always prevails.
More time, but I kept checking the posts hoping one would maybe be from her and I'd recognize it. His posts piqued my hope but also opened me up to a mountain of what ifs. I pressed on, back to work, back to my loyal friend focus.
Freddy died on April 12, 2017 exactly one year to the day I posted that original post that my heart had written. They say he died of an aneurysm on the way to work but I suspect it was self inflicted with the police involved. A setup most likely, unbeknownst to the boys in blue. Freddy was like a father to me, more than a friend. I had spent more time with him than any single person in my life including my nuclear family. Former SF and mixed gas deep sea diver, this man was unworldly, cut from a different cloth. He taught me how to fully utilize my mind.
I hadn't even though of foul play at that point. I was at a numb point in my life, still from that girl, and from being harassed from the Coast Guard out of Bourne -I had rented a 600k house right next to them and got honked at every day for a year, sometimes 20 times a day. All from this girl, and her family connections. I needed a fresh start and moved to the last bastion of freedom, Montana. I went out there, found work, and they shipped me off to Colorado. Went out to Colorado and I was still being hunted. I can't reveal how or why due to security reasons but let's say it's cartel related. At that point I put two and two together regarding Fred's death. I ended up going back to MA for security reasons and had better opportunities waiting for me.
Back in MA I continued getting harassed by people I didn't even know but had since gotten used to it. I went back to the Carpenters Union where I was again tipped off that I was being hunted. Once again, can't divulge due to security. Covid hit and I went down to Florida for an extended vacation from the fatigue of lockdowns. I once again ran into a situation I can't reveal that let me know people were after me. On vacation. So I came back to MA to buy a house. I picked Barre, MA, quiet out of the way and where the rule of law still applied, or so I thought.
Things didn't quite quiet down once I moved in, the neighbors apparently knew about me before I even met them. Gaslighting galore. I ended up going back to the union on a UMass Amherst job for Suffolk Construction. The Company I worked for subcontracted me to one of their own subcontractors out of PA who were installing the prefab buildings. The PA company was short on men because thier own crew had walked off the job due to safety concerns. A man almost got crushed by a 20x30 prefab building the previous day. The PA company was run by a young man that had zero experience in the field and was extremely dangerous. This was his first time out of the factory that supplies the buildings.
He was open shop and had none of the certifications required to supervise the build as required by MGLs and the Carpenters' CBA. When up on the roof overseeing us he was literally yelling at us to get under an unsecured roof section. The roof hinges up with kneewalls needed to be secured for safety, but he wanted to skip that step for speed -complete haphazard inexperience. I walked off, not wanting to be crushed, and called OSHA. There were two inexperienced women carpenters left up there and I would have been the "competent person" had anything happened to them with the experience I had. It was a 230 million dollar job where I blew the whistle, and an OSHA visit slows and complicates the build to say the least.
That is when I started getting harassed by bikers. Anywhere I went there was a biker following or intercepting any move I made. No colors shown, I have since come to an agreement with them, as they were just doing as told, no credible threat.
This example showed that someone was either tracking me by my phone or GPS tracker. They were semi-proffesionals. It made me very cautious on my moves and I couldn't safely go back to work. The target was still on my back.
I worked around the house that summer, living off savings. I redid my lawn and driveway by hand, installed over a 100ft of french drain. Over 150 wheelbarrows of dirt and fill and another 15 yards hauled by my pickup, all shoveled by hand. Then one day in the middle of September, as I was digging, she drove by.
I had thought of her many times in the past 6 years, in Montana, in Florida, no matter how much I tried to push it aside and keep moving, it was like she was right there next to me. That summer I made the conscious decision to forcefully push her out of my head and not look back. Surprisingly it worked. But now there she was, out of the blue, and the feeling came back as if it was like the last time I had seen her 6 years ago.
I recognized her after 6 years! She drove by slow, went to the end of the street and drove by again but didn't stop. You ever have a friend that says or does something in a specific way that you instantly recognize them from? Well she did one of those things along with 2 other specific things that 100% told me it was her.
She did it the following week also, almost stopping at my driveway but didn't stop. It was raining and I was inside but I saw her out my window. I waited outside at the same time for the next 6 weeks to see the same type of vehicle drive by but at a slightly different time. The woman inside was also the same type of person but definitely not her. I have a photographic memory. Confused, I had to get to the bottom of it so I started rebuilding the rock wall right at the street to confirm. The same type of vehicle passed and I saw, once again, it was not her but someone similar. What's the probability of this happening? I was being tricked now.
That feeling of her, of her being right next to me had come back but stronger than ever. I started checking Craigslist wading through the smut looking for her. I started seeing posts still alluding to her and our story but now coupled to other pieces of my past. I was being ducked with again. Knowing I was being tracked by the good guys also, I used my movements to tip them off to corruption regarding this and coinciding situations. I know it sounds vague but for the parties involved and security reasons I can't elaborate further. Things needed to be shook up, I can take harassment and threats all day but I'm not going to take my heart getting ripped open.
The following 6 months I was bombarded online and through social media with both good and bad posts regarding my situation. As the internet implies, everything was taken with a mountain of salt. But one thing for certain, big money was being spent. They kept alluding to that girl yet where was she? My heart was still ripped open at this point and I determined I was just getting played again. I had to let go, once again for my own sanity.
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